well okay lets see.....havent done thins in a few weeks..long time ago....so maybe i sld do one now....need to sort out some stuff first...hmm..where to start....noidea...i dont even know how to put it into words...i realised one of my biggest fear wld be that both of us arent friends anymore or goodfriends or aiyah u know lah....i wld just die keeping everything i tell you inside me....like my rubbish dump like that....altho i hope i dont treat you like one....hmmm......so yah rubbish pile up and michelle goes crazy...sucks...then there is the fact that if she doesnt god center her life or her life isnt god centered...she tends to become off balance and michelle gets depressed and maybe feels what shes feeling right now.....and then theres the fact that i havent been myself the past coupleof weeks ever since the last week of may.....the most normal ive felt was the day i left after p and w...before that it was cos exams ended so everything was bright and cheery....but other then tt....okay this is very weird......its not flowing.....i just realised after i talk to somone wld it only seem to start to flow..like when im tlkaing it unclogs abit...then when i actually type it out its to make somemore sense of it...oh dear....the person is so not going to want to talk to me anymore...sigh....and i realssied im as insecure as ever.....and im not bing totally honest with myself or people aorund me...cos its really hard..u wld think that admiting being insecure is hard....oh let me tell u its the easiest out of everything else...or maybe cos i practised it so much and said it so much its nothing anymore.i dont know..but to me its alot diffeent from like envy,jealousy or pride......i really dont know....but yes michelle is not a nice person...and is not a nice person to know unless she has like her almost daily dosage but other then tt....forget it....some people make fun of that intentionally or unintentionally but i realised i didnt care......hmmmm...need to be more patience...even when i feel like kicking and screaming at them which i can't as its on msn...sighness...sucks....i really sld have another complete melt down and dont care who the hell is reading my blog....cos its not like i gave it to you in the first place u just clicked it...but then again unity above all else.....and thusi cant' say what i think...in a very very very not nice way...even if it was in a nice way...augh...heck it.....i odnt care not goingt o care until mid sme break til then...all im goingt o care about is my school work.....and god.....i realsied everyone has thier own opionion own veiw see what they only want to see.....how to be untied when one want to talk to the perons but the other peronss doesnt seem interested....how to be united when one doesnt want to see the others point of view and think thier point of view is correct....how to be i ask you....oh shoots...not caring......not caring lalalaallalal.....and forgiving is not an easy thing....if u think im xiao qi then too bad for you maybe u sldnt do it the next time......im still struggling with italthough its like my 3rd or 4thtime....sometimes i wish i cld sit backand watch and just listen...u know something i thikn if the whole wolrd said what son thier mind it wldfall apart...at first...but if everyone keeps doing it like every second of the day it wld soon become the norm and people wld learn how to deal with it and it wld become practise instead of this stupid shit politics...which happens anywhere there is a social structure or what have you....but tt wld take like a long time but in the short run it wld fallapart and so dont know whether can last long enf to go to the long run...lolz.....econs....wow wheee......sigh...better sleep already..........