its been a long time since i churned out something of substance. ~if there was substance in the first place.

well, i have essays pouring out of my ears. i do think this is the first time in my whole life i have so many essays due and im pretty sure this is the first time i have to write so many words. you know science and commerce students almost never write essays. its only those crazy arts and humanities peeps who do. and i'm now in the midst of finding out that law students do have to too and not only deal with problem questions.

so 10 000 words is going to be churned out by me here in 2 weeks. my whole hols is burnt burnt burnt.

but its good. i won't have time to think or to feel. just function till i finish and after that i would have to gear up for exams so there is even less time for anything else between church ccm and exams. the less trouble i would be getting myself into too anyway.

well this sem...year actually has been pretty uneventful i think. I've been trying to get things into order and feel my way around again. dealing with the huge messes which the past 3 years has caused and really trying to recover from it. to forgive people and to let go of things. to grow and reaffirm friendships. to build new ones and to repair old ones. to be wiser in my choices and learn from mine and other peoples past mistakes.

i know there would be part of me that wants to wish that it could all go back to what it was before. but if i know that if i do i won't be able to enjoy what i have now and be appreciative of it and to look to the future with excitement and full of hope of what God has in store for me. i won't be able to grow and still would be the same old me in five years time. and that is a scary thought.
moving on sucks but everyone would have to at least once in their lives. the least each of us will have are memories and lessons learnt from wise and unwise choices. sometimes we will come away with strong friendships which stand the test of time and space. but no matter what each of our past shapes who we are now. the lessons we learnt the choices we made. have to bear the consequences of each. no one stays the same and remaining stuck in the past would only destroy the present and affect the future

no matter how hard, no matter how deep, things change, people change, GOd remians the same

i need to move on, let go and not get too comfortable.....

GOd please help me......