im taking this better then i expected
or maybe im not
im just not showing it
but who knows i also dont know
i say one thing and at that point in time i mean it
but when it actually happens my actions say otherwise
but one thing i know its a good learning experience which i wld come out stronger for if i can only figure out whats going on and what to do and what im even allowed to do and not allowed to do
and the reason i dont know/wont know is cos i can't be bothered to know..cos it doesnt affect me anymore..cos if i actually wanted to find out i would...but i dont.....lolz...

is it eating me inside out?
only when peple mention it
only when im asked about it
and can't give a decent ans on what happened
cos i myslef dont know
only when people who arent responsible enough and try to take the easy way out
and ask me to do stuff to make their lives easier
if not other then that seriously i dont even think about it
i function normally or as normal as i usually function
cos seriously whats thebig deal about it....
a better job is being done
and anyway from what i hear the lot of you sould be happier for it...
and yes i hear stuff........
i dont know why no matter how hard u try to keep something from me..
im bound to find out sooner or later
and why is it not eating me inside out
cos i actually dont like it
i mean dont get me wrong i do like certain parts of it but then i wasnt really enjoying it
a better job is being done
its a privilidege to be able to do it and well if its taken away then im okay with it cos i dont deserve to do it in the first place
and well im not tt really attacted to it..cos i made sure i wasnt thanks to something somebody said....
alsoone door is closed but another one wld open...
and right now im trying to clear up a mess or which i guess the things whivch are causeing to eat inside out i have to sort out....dont know how but soomehow i will
i tihkn im going crazy.....im actually really genuinely happy about it and at the same time im feeling all this emotions which is otherwise....sigh....sicks....
and the best part is that ive reached certain conclusions(opps no link to the pervious sentance altho it may seem it does..jumped on to nanother topic..lolz)
first one i guess is that in orderof importance 1 God 2. studies...everything else can go to hell for all i care....and my other conlusion is well hmmm....keeping quiet is goooooooood...whhaahaha...and not really good at the same time....hmmm....dunno lah...im sleepy and when im sleepy i sprout crap...

Lord I Lift Your Name on High
Lord I lift Your name on high
Lord I love to sing Your praises
I'm so glad You're in my life
I'm so glad You came to save us

You came from heaven to earth
to us the way
from earth to cross
my debt to pay
from the cross to the gave
from the grave to the sky
Lord I lift Your name on high

Open The Eyes Of My Heart Lord
Open the eyes of my heart lord
open the eyes of my heart
i want to see you
i want to see you

to see you high and lifted up
shining in the light of your glory
pour out your power and love
as we sing holy holy holy

holy holy holy
holy holy holy
holy holy holy
i want to see you